I saw Iron Man 3 last night. Reviews are embargoed for a few more days, but I can say this: I didn’t hate Gwyneth Paltrow in it. If anything, I kind of wish there was MORE Gwyneth Paltrow in it. Whatever you may think of her IRL, she’s great as Pepper Potts. And her abs deserve top billing in this film.
To prep you for the screening, Vulture has compiled A Practical Guide to Not Hating Gwyneth Paltrow in Iron Man 3. Enjoy!
From the Washington Post:
Gwyneth Paltrow is your college essay. Gwyneth Paltrow is the really profound note you wrote to yourself at 3 a.m. with the Real Key To The Universe. Gwyneth Paltrow is your best friend’s band that you have never told her is no good. She seems perfectly nice but totally clueless of the effect she produces on others. She was literally wearing the Emperor’s New Dress on the red carpet just now. “No, Gwyneth,” everyone in the kingdom said. “That’s perfectly adequate coverage.” And there’s a certain delightful goofiness to her because of it.
The (only?) good thing about People naming Gwyneth Paltrow the Most Beautiful Woman in the World is reading the reactions about it on Twitter. Here are some of my favourites. (There were also plenty of supportive tweets too but I’m ignoring those because, you know, BIAS!!)
People Magazine named Gwyneth Paltrow “Most Beautiful Woman”. Coming in at second was a glass of lukewarm milk.— Atman Thakrar (@AtmanThakrar) April 24, 2013
Here’s hoping Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Most Beautiful” title doesn’t change her.— anne t. donahue (@annetdonahue) April 24, 2013
Who’s vegan smoothie at People Magazine did Gwyneth Paltrow have to stir to get this “honour” bestowed upon her? cnn.com/2013/04/24/sho…— Lauren O’Neil (@laurenonizzle) April 24, 2013
You have to respect Gwyneth Paltrow’s humblebrag game.— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) April 24, 2013
Paltrow Problems: Next-Level White People Problems that the vast majority of white people secretly wish they had.— Darren Franich (@DarrenFranich) April 24, 2013
Yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow is totally the first person I think of when I have sexual thoughts. Oh yeah baby, tell me about your Pilates class.— Adam Wilson ★★☆☆☆ (@theleanover) April 24, 2013
Same ppl who got to the AP must have hacked this acct. RT @mia_sade People named Gwyneth Paltrow the World’s Most Beautiful Woman.— zayveeyah (@zsazsaZavia) April 24, 2013
Gwyneth Paltrow is Peoples most beautiful woman of ‘13. Great. Lets convince her she has more virtues she really doesnt. like singing&acting— Karissa Meyer (@kmeyer88) April 24, 2013
More proof that People Magazine are just trolling the world: Gwyneth Paltrow named World’s Most Beautiful Woman.— Whitney Jefferson (@twitney) April 24, 2013
Why the hell is Gwyneth Paltrow singing? Why does everyone think they can sing? If Hermione releases an album; I’m killing a continent.— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) October 15, 2010
People magazine has named Gwyneth Paltrow the “World’s Most BeautifulWoman” for 2013. That’s like calling Kim Kardashian a great actress.— Christopher (@ChristopherFTL) April 24, 2013
LOVE @wendywilliams reaction to Gwyneth Paltrow’s being named People’s Mag Most Beautiful, to the People’s editor’s face” “Random.”— Cori Murray (@corimurray) April 24, 2013
Reese Witherspoon got arrested and Gwyneth Paltrow is @peoplemag’s Most Beautiful Person… what is happening in the world?— Emily Copeland (@em_copeland) April 24, 2013
People named Gwyneth Paltrow the world’s most beautiful woman, giving her assistant a well deserved break from having to say it herself.— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) April 24, 2013
Nothing stands out about Gwyneth Paltrow. She is beyond regular looking. Her acting is blah. She’s the fancy Jennifer Aniston.— A (@iBrad_Lee) April 24, 2013
I saw three women more beautiful than Gwyneth Paltrow in the Taco Shack this morning. #People— Mike Frizzell (@drewmcfrizz) April 24, 2013
Time mentions JLaw with Mindy K and Lena D as challenging traditional femininity or whatever; between this and Gwyneth it’s all very “???”— Kate Carraway (@KateCarraway) April 24, 2013
Most hated star Gwyneth Paltrow named world’s most beautiful woman bit.ly/12I1NeE— Jezebel (@Jezebel) April 24, 2013
(This actually makes me feel a little bad for her. Shit, am I going soft?)
Last week, Gwyneth Paltrow was quoted in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar saying what everyone else is thinking: That she doesn’t want to get too much Botox because she doesn’t want to wind up looking like Joan Rivers [ more › ]
“If [Chris Martin] isn’t at home, I turn on the hip-hop - I’m like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.”
The reviews are starting to trickle in for Goop’s brand new gluten-, sugar-, dairy-, and meat-free cookbook,
DRAWERS AND DRAWERS OF ZUCCHINI UGH GIMME ZUCCHINI OM GROM GROMPH It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look Good and Feel Great, and they’re not exactly glowing like Goopy’s creamy sheep’s-yogurt Veela skin (maybe the reviews should try a 76-day fern cleanse!). Read more…
Even in the face of tragedy, the buying of expensive crap must go on. At least, if you’re Oprah. And so, while entire towns are still closed off in New Jersey and children in Staten Island don’t have shoes, Oprah released a resurrected version of her famed Favorite Things list filled with even higher frivolity-level tchotchkes than usual. WORST TIMING EVER, OPRAH. Couldn’t you at least wait for the smoke over Breezy Point to clear?
From a $2,700 mattress to a $500 fan, Oprah’s list showcased items far beyond the reach of most consumers. We’ve picked out the most oblivious, tone-deaf bits and rated them for you on a scale of one to five Paltrows, in honor of Goop matron Gwyneth, a pioneer in out of touch rich lady recommendations.